How to Convince the Alzheimer’s Patient to Shower, Change clothes and sometimes Brush Their Teeth

I was really baffled when Mom began to wear the same clothes day after day whether they were clean or not. Occasionally, I’d find her bundled up in a winter coat when it was 90 degrees. Once I arrived for a short trip to the grocery store and quick lunch at a fast-food restaurant and found Mom waiting in full make-up, long evening gown and dangling earrings.

Mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimers, but I had yet to do much reading or inform myself of the myriad of odd behaviors that came with that diagnosis. It was several weeks before I equated her new eccentricities to a decline in cognitive thinking. I didn’t understand the reason why she lost the ability to dress properly, or all interest in cleanliness until much later.

In the beginning it became a battle between us–me trying to convince Mom to change clothes or shower by sheer force.  If asked about it, she would only shrug, totally unconcerned by my beleaguered attempts to improve her hygiene. It was totally confusing to me. I was struggling to teach the very person who had taught me all I knew about living and learning and cleanliness.

Eventually,  in the middle stages of Alzheimers, Mom refused to shower at all. Our daily battles over the shower and hygiene became so stressful it still hurts to remember the angry words we spat at each other. Now, if I had it to do over, I don’t think I’d care if she ever showered again. It was many months before I learned that demanding and arguing only encourages the Alzheimer’s patient to become more obstinate and aggressive. Always “pick your battles” and remember, in light of the eventuality of  Alzheimer’s, almost anything is tolerable.

I still don’t know exactly why Alzheimer’s patients are so afraid of taking a shower, but I’ve seen it to be true with most of them. Many of the residents in the Group Home where mom eventually stayed were only brought to the shower after much encouraging and coaxing. I do think it’s some kind of  fear. Possibly, a fear of the water, the bathroom fixtures, the temperature settings. They do forget how to adjust the water temperature and I’ve often wondered if they’ve suffered a burn during that process.  Whatever the reason, you can read the fear in their eyes when you mention a shower.  Mom was terrified of the shower and if I left her to do it herself, she would disappear in the bathroom for long minutes, but exit without a drop of moisture in her hair.

Working on my “fear of the water temperature” theory, I found a solution that worked for us. I turned on the water in the shower,  adjusted the temperature, and let it run as I left the room. It wasn’t long before Mom was hunting me down. “You left water running in the bathroom,” she told me, “it will flood the floor.”

“Don’t you remember, Mom,” I said. “You told me to adjust the water because you wanted to take a shower. That’s what I did.”

Mom would only hesitate for a moment, search for a reply and then say, “Oh…I forgot I asked you to do that. Okay. I’ll take my shower now.” And  she was off to the bathroom and a shower as though it had been her idea all along.

• The Alzheimer’s sufferer becomes expert at denying and covering for their memory lapses in the earliest stages of this disease.

• They know how to make you feel crazy by denying their forgetting or pretending they remember while you know full-well they do not.

I must admit, though, I did marvel at how simple the resolution had been for the shower issue and wished I’d thought of it months earlier. It worked for a few months and that’s all I could ask.

For more information: Alzheimer's support

Drug Overdoses and the Elderly

Many of us are spending the Thanksgiving weekend with our parents or other elderly relatives and it's often a time when we begin to notice health issues that we might have overlooked when all our contact is on the phone.

A new study from the Centers for Disease Control points out one senior health problem that is especially easy to overlook: adverse drug reactions. According to a study by a CDC researcher that was published this week in the New England Journal of Medicine, nearly 100,000 adults 65 and over have an emergency hospital admission every year because of reactions to just a few commonly used drugs or classes of drugs.

The main problem drugs, the study says, are warfarin, insulins, antiplatelet agents and oral hypoglycemic agents.

None of these are classified as high-risk drugs; in fact, they are some of the most commonly prescribed medications for older people. Still, the study says that reactions to these drugs accounted for more than two-thirds of drug-related hospital admissions, often because of unintentional overdoses.

If you are caring for an elderly relative, you know that one of the big issues is making sure that your relative takes the right medication dose on the correct schedule. This can be a lot harder than it looks but the study shows that getting these common medications under control can be critical to improving an older person's health.

For more info: Health life goes strong.com

Holiday Shopping at Home is Both Easy & Risky for Elderly for Elderly Persons

An elderly person can easily spend too much money on family Christmas gifts. Approved holiday credit can be costly for seniors on fixed or limited incomes.

Overspending on holiday gifts can be a costly mistake for elderly persons. Like so many consumers who shop online or by catalog, it's easy to get hooked into spending too much. Many catalog companies offer advanced credit lines to consumers with no payment due until the following year. "Buy-now-and-pay-later" is too tempting to pass up.

What's the problem? After the holidays have come and gone, payments from catalog accounts could last for months – even years – if the consumer pays only the minimum required amount at each billing. Should family members step in and set holiday spending limits for the elderly loved one who risks going deep into debt?

Elderly Persons Shop Online Without a Credit Card

It's easy to get caught up in the holiday spirit of giving – and overspending. What could be easier for an elderly person than shopping from the comfort of home? Credit makes buying easy, but credit cards aren't the only way to shop online or by catalog. A caregiver who helps an aging parent manage his finances may not have a clue there is any overspending going on until it's too late.

These days, one needs only a computer to access thousands of stores world-wide. Gifts, flowers and food items can be purchased on a buy-now-pay-later plan that requires no payment until after the holidays are over. As more and more gift companies extend approved credit limits to lure in new customers and keep old customers coming back, the temptation to buy grows harder to resist.

Approved credit with a buy-now-pay-later company means nothing is required to complete the transaction – not even a credit check if the purchaser is a repeat and valued customer. All that may be needed to order hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise is the account number the elderly person has on file with the company. The bills won't show up until after the holidays, in most cases.

Clues That an Elderly Person May be Shopping and Overspending

Since customer bills don't usually show up until a month or two later, it's not likely the elderly person will be suffering yet from any holiday debt he or she is creating. Ask the elder if he or she is shopping by catalog or online. A caregiver can also look around the home for signs that indicate holiday shopping may be in progress:

• Holiday catalogs are piling up. Grandma won't let you throw them out.
• Catalog order forms are filled out.
• The aging parent speaks of Christmas presents without giving away specific information (or avoids the topic altogether when questioned).
• The elder has received one or more "Thank you for your order" letters from gift companies.
• You notice boxes (with or without company logos) discarded in the trash (also bubble wrap, tissue paper, Styrofoam or other wrapping materials).

Caution an Elderly Person About Holiday Spending

It may take a little persuading to get the grandparents or other elderly family member to listen and agree to a holiday gift-giving plan. Be prepared for resistance. Here are three suggestions for setting limits on holiday spending for elderly family members on a budget:

1. Discuss with the elderly person a limit for purchasing holiday gifts. Tell Grandma or Grandpa that the family doesn't want to see anyone go into debt. Perhaps a family member can volunteer to help the elderly person keep track of holiday gift purchases and how much money is spent. This option will work if the grandparent agrees to cooperate and doesn't go online to fill out a catalog order without anyone knowing.
2. Sit down with Grandma and tell her what each child would like that's within her budget. Be firm by adding that the children don't need a lot of presents or expensive gifts. If Grandma is given the option to buy a specific item from a specific place, then she stands a better chance of staying within budget. If she resists, stand your ground as a parent.
3. Hold a family conference. With other adult family members in agreement, announce to the grandparents (or other family seniors) that they should spend no more than what they can comfortably afford. If the grandparents are stubbornly persistent, then explain to them in a nice way that other family members are not in the financial position to help out should overspending occur. This might sound a little harsh, but it beats having to pay off all those account balances after Christmas.

There is no sure-fire way to stop a competent elderly person from shopping – or spending too much money during the holidays. Setting limits is reasonable solution to holiday overspending if everyone in the family agrees and cooperates. A family member caregiver who helps the elder manage financial matters can try to set limits early and prevent elderly holiday overspending before it happens.

Paying off all those holiday bills can be tough for the elderly person who lives on a modest income. The Internet and the lure of easy payment plans is all an elderly person needs to fall into the trap of serious debt. There are ways a caregiver can tactfully limit an elderly loved one's holiday spending without being labeled a scrooge. Once the grandparents realize the family is being realistic and wants what's best for everyone, they might warm up to the idea. Better yet, they might even feel relieved at having little or no holiday debt to worry about.

Read more at Suite101: Holiday Shopping at Home is Both Easy & Risky for Elderly Persons | Suite101.com http://maryking.suite101.com/holiday-shopping-at-home-is-both-easy--risky-for-elderly-persons-a310162#ixzz1e0LJ0kFf

Upcoming Educational Opportunities | Caregiver Stress

Home for the Holidays FREE Web Conference will Help Family Caregivers

Going home for the holidays often leaves family members shocked at the declining health or independence of a loved one. Warning signs can help make decisions that will keep your senior safe long after you've returned home.

To learn more about these signs, register for the FREE Home for the Holidays web conference.

The web conference will help you recognize the warning signs that indicate your senior loved one might need additional help for things such as loss of appetite, unwanted weight fluctuations, spoiled food in the fridge or clutter. Whether you're a long-distance caregiver or just live down the street, the holidays are a good time to assess the situation with Mom and Dad, and help them come up with a solution if necessary.

The web conference will be:

• Moderated by a Home Instead Senior Care® representative

• Hosted by the American Society on Aging (ASA)

• Co-sponsored by the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC).

The hour-long web conference will be offered on two dates and times:

Tuesday, Nov. 15th—1 p.m. Eastern Time

Monday, Dec. 5th—8 p.m. Eastern Time

Get more information and pre-register for the November 15th web conference

Get more information and pre-register for the December 5th web conference

10 Signs that a Senior Might Need More Help at Home

1. A change in appearance or condition of the home
2. Clutter
3. Dirty or unkempt clothing
4. Unpaid bills
5. Fresh food replaced with junk food
6. Spoiled food in the fridge or freezer
7. Bugs or rodents in the home
8. Confusion
9. Unfilled prescriptions
10. Spills on floors and countertops

Upcoming Educational Opportunities | Caregiver Stress

CAREGiver of The Month

Congratulations to Cecilia C for being Home Instead Senior Care's CAREGiver of the month.

Cecilia has been with us for just a little over a year and she has received countless praises from

clients. She has all the qualities of a great CAREGiver, she is reliable, punctual and compassionate. She makes sure her clients are happy and is always looking out for their best

interest. Clients and their family's are always comfortable when they know their loved one

is in the care of Cecilia C. She is another great example of a Home Instead Senior Care

CAREGiver. 

Thank you Cecilia for everything you do. We appreciate and are very grateful you are a part of our team.

Elderly Depression and the Holidays

Holiday depression sometimes affects all of us as we get caught up into planning and attending holiday parties, reacquainting ourselves with old friends, and finding the time to shop for gifts, planning family reunions and get-togethers.

However, for many individuals, and most especially seniors, the holidays can be especially sad and depressing.

Causes of Elderly Depression during the Holidays


For many seniors, the holidays are not a time of celebration and joy, but only serve as reminders of how lonely he or she may be, the friends that have passed on, the lack of family get-togethers and an inability to participate in such events. Commonly known as the holiday blues, elderly depression during the holidays affects singles, divorcees, and seniors around the world, and not only during the traditional American holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas, but other events as well.
It doesn't matter whether it's a winter holiday, Mother's Day, or the Fourth of July: many seniors look at holidays as major hurdles to overcome. Elderly depression, loneliness, lack of social interaction, and an inability to get around severely limit many senior's ability to partake in such joyous occasions.
Depending on geographical location, weather often plays a big part in an elderly person's inability to get out or socialize during holiday seasons. Wintertime holidays such as Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah are often rainy, cold or snowy, making it extremely difficult for seniors to navigate or enjoy. Often times, medical conditions such as arthritis prevent many seniors from venturing outdoors during cold winter months.
Warm weather can be just as bad, and seniors living in locations such as the deep South or the Southwest are prone to heat exhaustion and heat strokes, which also keeps them indoors.Children and family members spread throughout a state or country often prevent elderly parents from visiting children, grandchildren or other extended family members because of the cost of transportation, compounded by the inability to get from point A to point B.

Common Symptoms of Elderly Depression during the Holidays.


Family members and friends are cautioned to be alert to signs of holiday depression among seniors, regardless of whether they live on their own, with family members or in a long-term care facility. Depression is more apparent in seniors who have limited options for travel, or whose family members are scattered over long distances. Some of the most common symptoms of elderly depression during the holidays may include:
* Change in sleeping habits
* Difficulty sleeping
* Apathy or lethargy
* Change of appetite
* Loss of interest in activities
* Loss of interest in socializing
Of course, there are more, and individuals who know how mom or dad usually act are usually the first to pick up on cues or clues that something isn't right. Picking up on such clues is essential in order to help provide seniors with the attention and care needed to prevent serious repercussions and side effects of depression.

Tips for Combating Elderly Depression during the Holidays


Regardless of whether your elderly parent is in a home or a long-term care facility, children of aging parents can take several steps to ensure the mental health and well-being of their loved ones. Arranging and engaging in regular phone contact when family members are distant is important to make the elderly parent feel cared for, thought about and loved. Scheduling regular visits to long-term care facilities is also important so that seniors don't feel they have been abandoned and forgotten.
On special occasions such as Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah, try to ensure that an elderly parent is involved in activities or at least is a recipient of well wishes and thoughts by family members and friends. On holidays such as Memorial Day, Veterans Day and the Fourth of July, try to encourage aging parents to take part in community events, or arrange to have that parent recognized by community organizations for their contributions as a veteran.

Conclusion


Holidays can be extremely stressful times for all individuals, especially those worried about finances, family responsibilities and obligations. However, the best thing children of aging parents or caretakers of seniors can do is to make sure that a loved one feels special, and is provided with a sense of self-worth. Do whatever you can to involve an aging parent in holiday activities, whether it's filling out Christmas cards, addressing envelopes, helping plan get-togethers or helping with arts and crafts for holiday decorating.
If you feel your parent is dealing with long-term depression that seems worse at holiday time, schedule a visit with his or her physician and suggest antidepressants when necessary.


The bottom line is to encourage loved ones to stay active, involved and engaged in family and community events whenever possible. These activities don't have to be big, but can be anything that helps make them feel a sense of belonging and provides them with the ability to continue contributing to family and community well-being, regardless of age.


Article care of:
Boomers with Elderly Parents

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