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Taking care of an aging parent is a challenge but, when that parent is physically or mentally abusive, it can feel like an impossible task. According to the National Institute of Aging, Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia. Dementia is the loss of thinking, remembering, and reasoning which interferes with a person's daily life and activities. Performing activities of daily living, such as bathing and dressing, are difficult tasks elderly people may need help completing. When the person needing assistance is abusive, you need to know how to approach these tasks in a way that you and your parent remain safe.
Step 1
Determine what triggers your parent's abusive behavior. Some elderly people find it difficult to express their needs and wants, but if you can determine a pattern and reason for their anger, you may be able to deter the behavior by making changes in the environment.
Step 2
Speak to your parent's doctor to determine the underlying reason for abuse. According to the National Institute of Aging, approximately 5.1 million Americans have Alzheimer's disease. This disease can cause aggressive behavior, which may be an explanation for the abuse your parent is exhibiting.
Step 3
Develop a support system for you and your parent. One-on-one counseling and support groups for caregivers can be a social, emotional and educational resource. Your parent may benefit from attending elderly support groups, adult day care and a care manager.
Step 4
Remind your parent of good memories that you share from the past. This could snap him out of the abuse and help him fall back into a parental role that is based on love. Some elderly people with dementia have short-term memory loss but retain long-term memory.
Step 5
Remain calm. Remember that you cannot control your parent. The only control you have is over your feelings and behavior. Keeping a calm demeanor is more likely to defuse a tense moment than reacting with anger.
Step 6
Change the subject. Redirect your parent when she becomes abusive. Boredom takes its toll on elderly people who have been active throughout their younger years. Providing activities or stimulating conversation can decrease anger and increase fulfillment in your parent.
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