A Demanding Mom

A big thank you to Dennis for sharing a caregiving story! He titled it “A Demanding Mom.” Can you relate? Give Dennis encouragement or share your own story here: Strength For The Moment, Stories of Caring

I grew up in a broken home. My father and mother divorced each other when I was around 8 and my brother was 6. Due to circumstances I won't get into, my brother and I spent about a year in the home of strangers supplied to us by Children's Aid...mostly in their basement.

As the years past I was the first to leave home. I lived my life not knowing who I really was until I had my encounter with Christ at the age of 45. Married and with no children I felt this was a fresh new start for me.

A very "late" bloomer, I always thought about how I would eventually provide care for my aging mom. This concern has been in the back of my mind always. But it was just a thought. I didn't put a plan together.

Fast forward to today. My mom is 85. Lives alone in an apartment. My wife and her have had a falling out in the last 2 years. Recently I discovered that we also owe my mother money.

Over the years I have often heard my mom tell people that her boys would take care of her. As I alluded to, In the back of my mind I had always hoped we could. But as the years past, that dream seemed to fade away.

Today, she is crippled with emotional and physical issues. She is angry at both of her boys for failing her. To add to my sense of shame and failure I feel as a son, everyone in her circle also knows we have failed her. This has not added to my testimony in any positive way.

I have a sense that I owe her for raising us. But my joy of wanting to help her is stolen by her demands and my being stuck between the two main women in my life.

The Bible tells us to honor our father and mother. This an area I feel I have failed the most. When my mother's demands are expressed, my first thought (an incorrect thought) is to pull back. Sometimes I push back (even worse).

In the midst of this storm, I undeservedly go to the Father in prayer. I ask him to give me wisdom, patience and kindness so that I can honor her. To forgive my reactions to her. (and to allow me to live peaceably...happily... with my wife).

Lately by His grace we have been looking for a home for her. I also need to find a care giver.
My prayer is hat she lives out her winter season 'happily'. That if she isn't already, she would be reconciled to God through Christ. And that Christ would not let any of my family perish.

Demanding people are the hardest to deal with. But this is my mother. Maybe if she was easy, there would be no room for God to change me.

Denis